A CRAPPY LIFE

What to talk about......

      I can't exactly think of what to name this particular post.   So that's all I got.   You know we all
have daily things that bug or annoy us.  Some of us feel the need to share them via a social media
outlet and that's quite alright with me, shoot post on 'cause every now and then you'll have a good
friend that says just the right things to lift you on up out of your slump.   To me it isn't any different
than calling up a few of your friends and tellin' them about it.  If you haven't added every Tom, Dick,
and Harry and have chosen to keep your friends list conservative only adding and/or accepting those
whom you know personally then you should be just fine.   Lately I have ventured back out into the
adding of folks of which I am acquanted with but do not know on a personal level and while this works fine
for me because if you know me at all or have had the pleasure/displeasure of talking to me in person
then you'll also realize fairly quickly that I am an OPEN BOOK.  I always have been.   You know I
say this often that people that "don't talk," worry me.   I am speaking of those who just sit and look
like they are too good to speak with you.   Now this of course excludes those who are so completely
introverted that it is physically impossible for them to open up.   I have anxiety issues myself so I can
relate to feeling frozen.  My anxiety is directly linked to our children and their safety and most everyone can understand where that would stem from.     Anyhow, off topic I surely went, as I so often do during "live" conversation.       
        Back to the posting and "what to talk about".  I as well as everyone else in the free world has daily things that come up, mostly first world problems,  but I do have some rather serious daily
struggles that I do not publicy speak of.    Like I said before I am an open book, except this ole book has one pretty dark chapter.   No I don't judge everyones problems in comparison to what we went through and the loss we all had to endure.   I'd be pretty miserable.   But I do often wonder if people every really just sit back and think on things before they post them.   I'm all up for venting, shoot vent on....and I'm up for playing around too but when it is over and over letting on that your life is a sess pool of utter sadness that is when I start to go O_o.  If I posted everyday the struggles I have with worry/anxiety over the kids, the little mis-happenings that go on in our household,  the fact that there is too much week at the end of Dustys paycheck,   my cooking mishaps,  family issues, my wt gain/loss (always leaning towards the gain!),  then our life would start to look pretty shitty (sorry language!).  But the fact of the matter is we've been there and WE KNOW WHAT LIFE BEING CRAPPY LOOKS LIKE!!    And it sure ain't what some people thinks it is.  (I have people in my life and i often wonder how they manage to get up each day and face their challenges.)  HERE GOES:  It ain't being anxious over the kids being out of sight, it ain't the dog pissing in the floor,  it ain't having an overdrawn bank account, it ain't screwing up the cobbler,  or your mama not hardly talking to you, it ain't being overwieght......and out of all these things that I know life being shitty ain't I can tell you a few things that a life compared to fecal matter is:   It's your loved one dying of cancer,  your spouse/child being deployed,  losing someone unexpectedly in an automobile accident,  finding out your child has a terminal disease and not having proper insurance coverage,  finding out your spouse is being unfaithful,  worrying how you are gonna feed your family and buy gas to get to work,  having an illness that is invisble to the outside world but has dramatically changed your life,  your house and all its belongings lost in a fire, and lastly losing your six month old daughter when you thought she was safely napping in the next room.   So the next time you want to post about your life full of it's tormoil and terror you just sit back and reckon who  you got on your friends list.   If you are a true friend then you'll take into consideration their feelings.   Now I ain't saying walk on eggshells on my accout, LAW NO...but please if you are going to seek support from FB or any other media outlet be ready as well to offer it and that might very well come in the form of stuffing your pettyness back in your nap sack for the day and find a reason to be happy 'cause even though you may see your "spilled milk" situation as an emergency worthy of a color rating I assure you you will be able to find somebody worse off and they are probably located in the little box on the right side of your profile (timeline of course).   

 This week I've had a lot of good times and a few hard times.   Let's just talk about the good!  My
sisterinlaw is in from Kentucky and we've had the best time laughing, shopping, cutting up, and well
eating...'till tonight when I suddenly had a date with RALPH....but anyhow we've had the best time I've had in a long time.   Today we was just talking while shopping for tmws barbecue that you know what we better laugh while we can because you never know when something horrilble is going to happen.   I am not suggesting one live their life on the wild side thinking they are invincible...NO...but don't go around mad at the world neither.   It will sure wiegh you down.  Don't take yourself too seriously.  People are gonna talk about you no matter what,  if you're too happy they'll say you don't care about how things are or what happened....if you are too sad, they'll say you've lost your mind and you're overreacting.   Truly it's a no win situation.  SO LAUGH IT UP...SMILE AS OFTEN AS YOU CAN...AND HAVE A GOOD OLE TIME NO MATTER WHO IS LOOKING.......oh and last but not least....quit yer belly aching it's a safe bet your neighbor has had a worst day than you.

                                 ----GLORY BE TO GOD THAT I STILL HAVE A DESIRE TO WRITE ANYTHING BE IT POSITVE OR NOT---
         

Quite a year!

Hello Everyone,
          Well it's been a bit ain't it?   I started this blog with full intentions of logging in daily
with anecdotes adorned with random pics of us doing random things.    Well that never panned
out.   I'm not exactly sure of the reason for my complete abandonment of my writing venture.  
Perhaps I was swallowed up by a mound of laundry,  in a trance in front of the sink scrubbing that darn cast iron pan, or we have been in a time warp like existence between the post office, grocery store, school, doctors office, and home.   Did anyone see a silver streak out of the corner of their eye?  That very likely could had been us with me as the pilot completely avoiding my duties as a "blog writer".   HAHAHAHA, Truth is I've been being a wife to my husband and a mother to our children over the past year. 
       We've had quite a year I'll have to say.   Our anniversary is coming up this month and looking back at the first post of this little blog makes me :).    Taking up blogging I am ^O_O^ so if you get bored of looking at all the shared photos on FB from places like "You gotta laugh man" and "Dude this is so inappropriate it's cool" then mozey (sp?) on over here and check out what our little household is up to.   


GOODNIGHT FRIENDS AND HOPE TO SEE YOU SOON (yes I know major cheese)

Bakin' and Bloomin'.....(Never Give Up) Dedicated to our eldest daughter.

BAKIN' AND BLOOMIN'

(Never Give Up)

    Hello Friends,

           Today I conjured up two first for our kitchen, crumb cake and onion petals.  My very first crumb cake was a delight to whip together.  I retrieved a great recipe which can be viewed here : http://allrecipes.com/recipe/aunt-lillians-crumb-cake/detail.aspx

             I do not know how this even turned out, taste-wise,  as it came out of the oven and straight to our friends house.  She recently had surgery and I told her I would bake her a crumb cake.   So onto the recipe that I have linked above,  most definitely go with the crumb topping suggestion given in the review by "naples34102".   I could not however sprinkle or crumble this topping on top of the batter.   I had to sort of -drop- it on there.  Upon getting the cake out of the oven I noticed that my topping had actually sank into the batter.     And....I forgot to add powdered sugar on it before sending it off.   Today is a day for forgetting everything it seems.   But the house smelled mighty fine when it was said and done.   

      ONTO SUPPER---- ah the sweet convenience of leftovers...add some velveeta to yesterdays H.H.  tada...it's happy hour in our house.    Since I didn't technically have to cook supper I decided to make something a little special for us as a snack.    Recipe reference here : http://allrecipes.com/recipe/blooming-onion/detail.aspx

     I absolutely adore Outbacks Bloomin' Onion,  LOOOVE IT!

So I figure I'd try my hand at it.   Here we go,  I lay out all the ingredients on the counter.  I go and grab my onions out of the cupboard (I am not exactly sure what size onion they are using but it must be on steriods, so I decide I will make a few little blooms with my smallish onions.)  

     Da da da....1/2 tsp this....1/8 tsp that (yes you read right)....ok now it's cutting time.   "I will make this flower shape...here we go,"   The recipe states DO NOT SLICE ALL THE WAY THROUGH, only 3/4.    Plastic cutting board that paranois me to no end thinking the little scratches are harboring germies,  and sharp knife located and in hand.   The knife goes 1/2 way through my soon to be little cute flower of an onion.  Hmm needs to be a little bit further I think to myself.  Just a little bit of pressure...and SLICE the knife hits the cutting board.  --sigh-- Onion petals it is.  :P    FANTASTIC they turned out to be.    

      Enough with my cooking ventures.  Let's begin again at the start of the day. 

    Today held an array of successes and failures.  I attempted to go out and mow the grass to surprise my husband when he returned home.   I pulled and pulled but nothing.  What I didn't do was -prime-.   Am I really this weak armed I thought.  It was noon, hot, and muggy....and my attempt to help my husband with a freshly cut lawn had failed.   :( 

     I retreated onto our back porch to fool around with the flowers a bit.   Pulling all the deadness off of them and giving fresh drinks to the whole gang.   In just a few hours I noticed they were all "happy" and perky in their new places,  I moved them around a bit.    One of the plants has even made it out into the yard today.    :)

      While I am cooking afore mentioned onion petals, Zoe comes through the house holding her toosh.   "Hurry Hurry POT POT,".    I ask Shel to go with her to the bathroom so I can sit the pot of oil off the stove and wash the flour off my hands.   By the time I make it to the bathroom to help.......EEK it's bathtime for Bug.   :(

       The evening marches on and the kids share the tasty snack that I made.   They brush their teeth then it's off to bed.  Dustin and I watch The Village together,  I forgot how sad it is at times.  I cry.    :/   So it's off to bed...but... I think I will write a blog post.  A little bit in he says he is going on to bed.  I say I will be right behind him.  He comes back in the living room.  (this is where my blog is interrupted)

      "I like the picture Shel made you," Dustin says to me.   "Picture....?  Oh no,  gosh she was trying to show me something and I was fussing and trying to get the baby cleaned up and I never got back around to looking at it,"  I replied.   By now I feel like a horrible mother.   He just looks at me oddly and tells me that it is on the bathroom mirror.  What?  The bathroom.  Then I realize I haven't even ventured in there since the emergency bath.   "You haven't noticed? Come look," he gets my hand and takes me in there.   

       There it is,  taped onto our mirror with a double sided sticky square the reason this blog has a sub-title, the reason it's not just a recipe post, the reason I have something besides onions, flower and thyme to write about.   Words from our nine year old daughter, whom today has watched her mother try many things, fail at some (lawnmower start up, crumb topping, piss-ant battle), succeed at others (supper made, perky plants, delish onion petals) sweetly written on a piece of paper had been placed ever so carefully as to make sure I saw them between now and breakfast.    

*This is NOT the picture she was trying to show me earlier for that drawing lay on our kitchen counter.  THIS was a completely new picture.*

  She is just a child but oh how she listens and watches, both very attentively.   Perhaps I should be more closemouthed about certain things in our house, perhaps maybe not.  Children should know that their parents have daily struggles as well.    In our daughter seeing that today was a trying time for me she was given the oppurtunity, unknowingly by me, to comfort her mother.   And comfort she did.   Seeing that she believes in the things that I do/attempt to do for our family touches my heart.  

      

---This post that began about cooking, was interrupted and ended as a dedication to the eldest of our children.   Thank you Lord for this daughter you have blessed me with,  may we remain as close fifty years from now as we are today.---   

      



   



He still kisses me.....without condition.

  --->   The definition of -unconditional- as described by Merriam-Webster :
1: not conditional or limited : absolute, unqualified <unconditional surrender> <unconditional love>

2: unconditioned 2

— un·con·di·tion·al·ly adverb

 

 

      I titled this post using a thought I had the other night as my husband gave me the kiss he always gives me before bed,  It's a dead on, warm lipped, squishy, I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART AND ALWAYS WILL, first real heart felt kiss kind of kiss.    The kiss where you know that he knows that you know THAT he knows that you are the ONE.   :)  Yep I still get those.   So back to the thought that I "thunk,".   

 

  (((He still kisses me...)))   I thought.   After a day that he has had at work and all the griping I've done this evening.    This sweet man still bends over and kisses me.   If that won't shut you up ladies then you need more help than I can provide in an internet blog.    Any of you that has had the fortune of being acquanted with my husband knows that he is slow to anger and quick to forgive. 

 

     Often times I hear people commenting on different womens husbands', "He's a good man, works everyday, comes home, takes care of his family,".  They will say this because they see what's on the outside and beings as that is what us humans use to percieve danger or not-danger as it may be I can't hold that against them.   I won't get into idle gossip because that's a post of and in itself.

 

     I also used to hear ole timers say this as I was growing up.  "You never know what goes on behind closed doors."   And BOY-HOWDY if I didn't learn that lesson.   It's the gospel truth if it ever was told.   You can know somebody in and out,  know all their cousins, cut their mama's hair, wax their sisters mustache and groom their grandpa's dog but you don't truly TRULY know someone 'till you live with them.  This goes for husbands, sisters, friends, and even your own grown children...and shoot even your elderly parents for that matter.    Wake up with somebody everyday, see their unmentionables on the bathroom floor, and from time to time find their nail clippings on the couch arm then buddy "knowing" somebody takes on a whole new meaning.     You find out real quick like if they have a temper hotter than a dead opposum on the four lane in the middle of July or if they tend to let stuff slide. 

 

     I can sit and people watch all day and think I know my best friends husband and that he is of the utmost character but in actuality I do not know what goes on in their house, 'less they tell me and I am finding the older I get, the less I pry.    So, anyhow,  the point I would like to make is this, with my husband, what --you-- see, is what --I--get.  PTL (praise the lord).  I do have that good man with all the credentials quoted in the third paragraph, first sentence of this post.  INDEED I DO!   There isn't any Jekyll/Hyde scenario behind our closed doors.    So when looking in at our marriage in our rented tan house by the side of the road I push up my rose colored glasses with complete validation that the prescription on this particular set is indeed correct.  

 

    We have little squables,yes, but nothing ever serious.  In our close to 5 years, we've never once told each other to leave or threatened to leave each other and at the end of the day, "He still kisses me...."

 

         Perhaps you are wondering why I added the definition of word unconditional to the beginning of this post, perhaps you could give a rats hind end but nonetheless I must explain, you must endure yet another long winded paragraph(s) before it all gets wrapped up in cute albeit untimely manner. 

 

HERE GOES---

 

    Time and time again we hear of unconditional love.   Wait..wait...this one gets me for sure...."I care for (him/her), but I don't love (him/her),".   SIGH.  Let me say this, that in my world Loving and Caring for someone are one in the same.  And both should be done WITHOUT CONDITION or not fooled with at all.   There is no worse feeling, as a child, wife, friend, or human being for that matter, that someone can feel than to feel that the love you recieve needs to be earned, trust me, I've been all four, still hold the title to three and well let's just say "I can relate," and leave it at that.  This be no place for outing anyone on their meanness. :P     Having the feeling that if you screw up just one time or you don't have things in proper order than you will be less cared for, less loved.   

 

     We shouldn't have to hold our breaths' around the people who supposedly love and care so much for us.     Yet so many of us do just that,  we say things that are proper, we do things in such a way to insure that we keep the ones we love loving us,  we are led to believe that conditions have to be so-so for happiness to exist.     Love is not about conditions and it isn't about agreeing 100% percent all the time.       

    

    And from the moment I met my now husband I have felt his feelings for us and felt them unconditionally.  At 23 years old I finally quit holding my breath.  He gives, loves, and cares for us all without condition, without limits,  without rules or any particulars whether we are butt naked in the hospital bed looking excorcist-esque,  waking up at 2,4, and 6 am wanting a bottle or a "pack-pack" (pacifier) as it may be, or if two of us just so happen to come along by other means besides his own.   If we tell a joke that isn't too funny or politically correct, or if we (Levi) happend to ask for a bike for our birthday then never touch it again for weeks (most recent antic of discussion),none of those things are ever held against us---- We are his family completely and wholly.    

     

   No matter our finances, our health, or any trials and tribulations we may go through in our lives, I pray to God above that when we are old and gray sitting in infamous rocking chairs.......

 

 

He still kisses me.....without condition.